Author, Actor, Playwright, Excellent Parallel Parker

Rules of the Lake and Ashes to Water are now available for Kindle and Nook!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

In Which a Little Girl in Grocery Store Really Hacks Me Off

I keep thinking about this little girl in the grocery store. She really hacked me off. I feel ridiculous now, but at the time, I wanted to squash her like a bug, because that's how she made me feel.

I know, I know. A grown-up isn't supposed to feel such animosity toward a little kid. But ohhhh, she burned me. What happened was, I paid for my groceries, and as I was walking out of the store, passed a family at another register as their groceries were being bagged—a mom, a dad, and two little girls, one about 8 (the one I wanted to slug), and another girl about 6. I saw lots of candy going into a bag and caught the eight year-old's eye.

"Wow, is that candy for you? You're a lucky duck—"
But before I could even finish, she brays, "I'm not allowed to talk to STRAAAAANGERS!"

This was no simple exchange of information. This was an accusation. I'm very sorry to say, the little rug rat rendered me speechless. I felt, like, THIS big.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "But Irene, it's good her parents and Patch the Pony have instilled "Nay, nay, from stangers stay away." But c'mon. Her parents were RIGHT THERE, fer cryin out loud, and it's not like I was wearing a raincoat and no pants. I was just trying to, well, you know. Make a connection. Share a moment. Bridge the isolation gap with a little back-and-forth. Instead, what do I get? A slap in the face. That will teach me.

Walking to the car, I couldn't shake it off. I felt snubbed, insulted, dissed, not only because I  am not a perv—

("I am NOT an ELEPHANT! I am a MAAAAN!)

—but  also because I let an eight year-old get the last word. Now, many hours later, it finally comes to me what I should have said. When she said, "I'm not allowed to talk to STRAAAAAANGERS!", what I should have said was—

"Well, you just DID, so I guess no candy for YOU!"

Little twerp. I hope she gets lots of cavities and her teeth fall out.


  1. I feel that way many a day as a teacher, and i wonder what type of person am I really..

  2. That reminds me of what happened to me with my 'niece' Katy, when she was about 7. For the first time in several years, I was paying a visit to my cousin Becky and her family in Phoenix, and I was resting in the guest room when she came home from school.

    She was apparently excited to see me, and knocked on my door, crying "Aunt Laura! Aunt Laura!"

    I opened the door and held out my arms, expecting a hug. Instead Katy ran in the opposite direction, down the hall and out the back door of the house, all the way to the far end of the back yard. And all the while she kept screaming:


    Really, some parents are overzealous.

    P.S. Our relationship in some ways never recovered. And she pissed me off royally again four years ago, when she was a freshman in college, but that's another story.

  3. Irene ;-D
    just :::grin::::
    [might have been a snort in there too ;-) ]


  4. تنظيف مسابح بالرياض شركات صيانة مسابح بالرياض

    شركة تنظيف المسابح بالرياض شركة تنظيف المسابح بالرياض

    شركة تنظيف مسابح بالرياض شركة تنظيف مسابح بالرياض

    نقل اثاث بالرياض شركة نقل اثاث بالرياض رخيصه

    شركة نقل اثاث شركة نقل اثاث

    شركة نقل اثاث بالرياض شركة نقل اثاث بالرياض

    تخزين اثاث بالرياض  شركات تخزين اثاث بالرياض

    شركة تخزين الاثاث بالرياض شركة تخزين الاثاث بالرياض

    شركة نقل اثاث بخميس مشيط شركة نقل اثاث بخميس مشيط

    نقل اثاث بخميس مشيط شركة نقل اثاث

    شركة نقل اثاث  نقل اثاث بخميس مشيط

    رش مبيدات بالرياض شركه رش مبيدات بالرياض

    شركات رش مبيدات بالرياض شركات رش مبيدات بالرياض

    شركة رش مبيدات شرق الرياض شركة رش مبيدات شرق الرياض