Author, Actor, Playwright, Excellent Parallel Parker

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Wednesday, November 3, 2010

In Which Chilean Wine Makes Me Sneeze

Two nights ago, I was drinking a lovely glass of Chilean Carmera (from the Colchagua Valley, in case you happen to have your world atlas opened to page 108) and started sneezing like a ridiculous person, a rapid series of high-pitched snicks. I thought I was getting sick, oh la.

And last night, I'm cozied up with The Mister and a recorded episode of Masterpiece Mystery (okay, it was Project Runway, and okay, it was the dog), savoring a glass of Chilean Penalolen, and again with the sneezing. I was all "What's with the sneezing?"

I've concluded that I'm allergic to Chilean wine. Kill me now.

The Mister went to Chili a couple years ago and fell in love with the fruits of their vine, hence our small cache. I looked closely at the label: "In the mouth, the structure of the velvety tannins is overwhelmed by a voluptuous texture, offering a  precise architecture and a long, bright finish where the fruit pairs with spicy chocolate and tobacco."

Spicy chocolate and tobacco! No wonder I'm sneezing! I can't think of a more unappetizing pairing since Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt.

My father is probably having the last laugh right now. My sisters and I like to make fun of the plonk he brings along when visiting. From the Winn Dixie, it comes in a bottle resembling a clay jug with a convenient screw-off cap. Dad savors a single glass of plonk at 5:00 each evening while sitting on the porch. A closer look at the label reveals its constitution:

"In the mouth, the ethyl-laced fumes compete with the sandpaper texture for dominance, suggesting an unsupervised fermentation, possibly by a person named Jasper, who undoubtedly dropped his spicy chocolate cigarette into the vat."

I can hear him now. "At least my wine doesn't make me sneeze like a ridiculous person."

Good point. But it probably does explain why he doesn't have any hair.


  1. رش مبيدات بالرياض نقدم لكم شركتنا كأفضل شركة رش مبيدات بالرياض والتى تعنى بتوفير سبل التخلص من كل ذلك بشتى الطرق شركة مكافحة البق بالرياض الامنھ والصحيھ والسليمھ المستخدمة فى عملية رش المبيدات شركة مكافحة النمل الابيض بالرياض المضاده لتلك الحشرات بمختلف انواعھا (نمل- بق- صراصير –نمل ابيض) وغيرھا وذلك من قبل فريق شركة مكافحة الصراصير بالرياض عملنا بالرياض المتميز شركة مكافحة حشرات بالرياض والمحترف مما يساعدكم على التخلص منھا نھائيا دون رجعھ موفرا لكمالنظافھ التامھ على شركة مكافحة الفئران بالرياض اكمل وجه